It's in this moment that I realize how angry, hurt, and broken I had been during the first few months of this year.
I am reminded of a sermon that James Tan gave out our church last year. He said that sometimes it is impossible to see our lives different from where we are at; out of a relationship, in a new job, etc. but God sees the big picture. He knows that the path He's going to take you down, the path He's laid before you, is so much better than where you are at right now. Things may be going great; you feel as nothing could be more right in your life..and then God pulls you out of a relationship or a job, away from friends. You think "But nothing was better than this..nothing.." but God's plans for your future and better than anything you could dream up..and He knows that in order to get to where He wants to put you, sometimes you have to be pulled out of the situation you're in.
I feel like that's a bunch of run-on sentences..but I'm going to get real...I thought I was in the best relationship ever made; the man I liked finally liked me in return. He loved God, He sought God, he spent time with God, he cared for me, he had plan/path for his future. But really, this wasn't where God wanted me to be. When you're writing things down like this:
"I'm frustrated, I'm tired, I'm worn out, and all you want to do is quit…because it's easy…because you don't have time to think…because your work is more important..because your friends are more important…because I couldn't possibly understand your desire to go on missions..because I’m possibly that dumb and self-centered. How dare I even consider going somewhere with you on missions because that would be changing myself for you. You have no idea my desires or anything…because you don't want to know.. you don't want to find out..you don't want to care."
let's face it..somethings wrong.
Awhile back now I had someone pray for me regarding this area of my life. When she prayed for me to experience more Joy in my life, she thanked God that this was something I already possessed in me and that all I had to do was access it. It didn't always feel like I had Joy..but the truth is..I did..and I do.
I am so thankful God's plan for me is greater than my own and that even when I couldn't see it...He was pulling me back to the path I'm meant to be on :)
Sunrises/Sunsets- How God shows me He loves me :)
